Wednesday, June 18, 2014

What My Mother Taught Me...

I will always be happy.

I made myself that promise 3 years ago.

Pulling myself off of the cold storm-soaked soil, I found the strength to push on.

Weeks of heartache, anger, hurt, disappointment, complete and utter devastation, I found myself by the creek, my creek. My creek knew every whisper of my soul. My creek saw the transition of my euphoria to my deep dark abyss I was scraping the earth to escape from.

Sage, my owl, showed her mighty presence to me in my hours of desire. She gracefully danced across the sky, gliding through the air. Showing me grace and the ability to fly with my own wings.

The Osage Orange Tree provided me shade on those summer days and fall nights. One of the strongest and hardest woods, used as bow wood for our ancestral mighty warriors, showing me strength. Producing a beautiful fruit with an entangled maze pattern, showing me complexity.

Through the storm, the sunflower’s scattered seeds grew wild and tall. Full of light and color. Demonstrating the ability to grow through the toughest kind of weather. The kind that breaks you down to your soil, disrupts your newborn roots, pushes you to a new place where you can finally grow. And demonstrating patience- it may take time to grow, but no one can refute that gloriously radiant and vibrant bloom.

Mother Earth’s skin, that deep dark soil. Cold to the physical touch but warms the soul like a blanket around an infant. Comfort. She teaches me to be comfortable in my skin as she is in hers. To be content with whatever comes my way.

My creek- my sweet flowing, ever changing, finding new paths to explore, refreshing life of Mother Earth. Washing away all the pessimism and unconstructive words. The journey of this creek is mapped out with spacious gaps of calm water followed by slender branches of small rapids. Teaching me that change is welcomed-it makes you grow. Stagnant waters don’t produce clear, clean, life sustaining substances; they produce disease, distrust, depression.

All of this raced through my mind, as I lay on the storm-soaked soil, weak and broken. Unsure of where to go in my life, or who to be because all that I had known was washed away in the torrential downpour. Mother Earth wrapped me in her arms- showed me all that was beautiful. All that was pure and real. All that would bring myself back to happiness. In that moment- I found my hands, nails caked in mud from gripping the ground to escape, palms down- prepared for departure. My feet gently planted themselves into the Mother. And as if Sage was there to fly me away, I ever so gracefully pulled myself out of the darkness. No longer would I sit in the darkness. I let it go. I let the light in so I can see all of Her beauty. I let love and understanding wash over me. Many moons later I owe myself that promise I made on that stormy noon, I will always be happy.
I wrote this piece to "Obsidian" by Trevor Hall! Check it out :)

Sunday, June 15, 2014

He Was Everything that I Needed in that Moment...

We will all have a few relationships that just don’t last, but they can however make a tremendous impact into the development of who we are as a person. They can range from friendships, people we have dated, or people with whom we have shared serious monogamous love. There is so much beauty in relationships. Everything awakens our senses, our mind, our heart, and our soul. We feel as though we are alive for the very first time. Some whirl in a breath of fresh air from the beginning. They make us feel that this is it- this is exactly where we are meant to be. Others may only offer a distraction from other sectors of our life. Sometimes they end beautifully, other times the end in a torrential storm.

Everything, everyone, every moment that appears in our lives is here to serve a purpose. Every single thing that we need is in that moment. It could be a lifetime, it could be a day- but in that moment, we are here to learn and take from the experience and journey.

We can learn so much about ourselves from these moments. We can learn how we deal with adversity, how we love, how we think, how we feel, how we truly see the world, and who we really are.

I have learned to never regret or feel any negative feelings towards any failed relationship in my life because these people have helped mold me in to who I am. They have held a lantern into the dark and unknown corridors of my soul. They have shed light onto the bits and pieces of me that have molded the person I am today.

He was everything I needed in that moment…

He shook me. He woke up my heart, my mind, and my body. He helped me open my heart again to love. He helped me open my mind to accepting all the things in this world that I have no control over- which is everything. 

But most importantly, he helped me realize that I am all I have, so never compromise myself for anyone or anything.

I thank you, all of you, for breaking a piece of me so I can build it back. For allowing yourself to love me, if only for that moment. For allowing me to love you, for that moment. For the unbeknown guidance to the next journey in my life. Thank you for showing me myself in that microscopic moment in time.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Walk Two Moons in My Moccasins...

It is so easy for people to pass judgment on others. Especially when you have not experienced what the other person has. Sometimes, regardless of having been out of high school for what seems a lifetime, we find people picking us apart. It could be about our hair, our body, our choices, our significant others- you name it, someone somewhere will be judging you.

We are going to meet people in our lives that have an abundance of knowledge in things that we have never had the opportunity of learning, doing things that we never have experienced. When we come across this, it is our job as a mindful individual to accept that it may not be for us, who we are, or who we want to be, but we should have respect for the other and their knowledge, beliefs, and choices. We don’t have to understand it all, nor experience it, but be respectful. Respectful that their choices and actions make them them, and yours make you you.

I wish for you an abundance of wisdom
I wish for you the ability to put yourself into my path
Walk two moons in my moccasins before you pass judgment
I do not wish for you to understand who I am or why I do what I do
I wish for you the ability to respect me as an individual
As I have respect for you
Let me be free
Unbound by the chains of negativity, conformity, and guidelines
Alis volat propriis
Let me fly with my own wings
As you are free to fly with yours
Love me when I need it most
Love me when I need it least
Love me for me
Not for who you expect me to be
I love you for all that you are
All that you want to be
Let’s create a world where instead of picking apart each other
We encourage and lift each other up
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there.” ~ Rumi
Let’s dance in the moonlight amongst the flowers
We can dismiss all negativity, judgment, and preconceived notions
We can be whole, at peace, at one with who we truly are