We must learn to close the door gently- don’t slam
it…
We’ve all had those relationships, dating, hookups,
whatever we want to call it, where there was no closure. We were left to
dissect the pieces and play detective to figure out where it all went wrong. We
tend over analyze what happened. Is there some crazy mathematical equation on
why it all went to sh!t?! However, sometimes it’s nothing at all. Sometimes it
has nothing to do with us. Sometimes we just fall for the right person at the
wrong time- or heck, the wrong person!
All we
know is that the other party has ever so gracefully, or not so gracefully, left
us sitting, waiting, wishing, wondering…
Some of us lash out. Send mean texts. Call and
express our “love” for them trying to woo them back. Write coded Facebook
statuses. Some write blogs…All in hopes that some amount of closure will come
knocking on our door with an answer to that complex mathematical equation that
we have formulated within our minds.
Over time I've learned it is not closure from
the other person I need, it is closure within myself that I need, to move
on.
No one likes rejection, failure, but it happens. We
must take the time to sit back and meditate on why we feel rejected, why we
feel like we have failed, it failed. Find what it is within us that breeds these
insecurities. Why do I not feel adequate enough? Was I not beautiful enough?
Did I say something wrong? Did I snore? Did me having my own mind and thoughts
scare him away? Why am I not worthy? Why? Where did I go wrong?
We may not find the answers we are looking for from
the other soul, and it may time a lifetime to answer these questions about
ourselves, but at least we are being cognizant of our feelings, our emotions,
our desires, and our needs. It gives us the openness and tools to work out our
demons, break down our walls, and build up our heart for the next journey.
“People will forget what you said, people will
forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel…” Maya
Angelou
We cannot burn the bridges of past lovers. As much
as we want to go all General Sherman on them, don’t- because at one point in
our life, that person and ourselves shared something that was beautiful, that
brought a smile to our face- to their face. We shared our life’s dreams and
goals, we shared memories, and we shared each other’s body, heart, and soul.
If they come knocking on our closed door, we must
be open and honest. We must not speak out of hurt or anger by belittling,
patronizing, or offending them. We must speak to them in a calm and mellow
tone, taking away the hurt- but not the feelings. Hurtful talk brings up more
pain, words we wish we could take back…Talking with our feelings can let
them see the depth of the situation, the true depth and colors of our soul. By
doing this, both parties can grow from the relationship and the situation.
Better prepared for the next journey life takes them on.
Spread love. Forgive. Forget the pain. Be in the
present moment, not in the past, and not in the future.
Just breathe and let it be…and close that
door ever so gently…
